dancing through life...

"Woes are fleeting
Blows are glancing
When you're dancing
Through life"

Lately I have been pushing for some (until recently) unknown reason to be much more than I ever have been. To get over this awkward and seemingly apathetic phase has been a goal of mine for some time now so to feel as if I'm making some progress is nice. I'm still quite far from my goals and probably have pushed myself farther, but that's alright.

It's funny how the people in my life have influenced me so much. I've really gotten over my fears of letting people in so that I can really learn what everyone has to teach and appreciate the fullness of everyone's existence. For every aspect of my life that I feel I need to improve on I know at least two people in my life who are shining examples of what I hope to one day personify. Explaining who and what would take too long and I wouldn't want these people (who do what they do on a regular basis) to start acting differently because of something I point out in them but know that every person who is close to me right now is having a profound influence on me.

Facing a long distance relationship is I think reawakening the sharpness I once held in regards to the reality of my life. That sharpness has been lacking lately, and I have felt the consequences of this loss very deeply. My hope is that I can grasp reality as firmly as I did before and regain the deeply held motivation that I used to embody. Somehow, with the way things are going now, I feel as if that is truly possible.

Looking forward to one's future while fearing it at the same time is about as real as existence gets in my mind. Having something to look forward to is the epitome of hope and experiencing fear implies that there are things that I would not want to lose and that there is room for improvement. I'm so thankful for this awakening.

Here's to getting back on track with the help of those who love you day in and day out. =)

<3sami

p.s. 2 months left...

let it sit...

let it wait a little while. let it rise. let it settle.

so many things to wait for and so little time to use to prolong the waiting.

it'll come as all things in time do.

i'm just praying that life will be kind. it already has been bringing you to me. and God willing it'll continue to be kind.

i'm hopeful.
hopeful for my new team. hopeful for my family. hopeful (even though this is pretty bleak) with my job. hopeful with my life in general. i'm a little bit closer to figuring out what I want, at least I think I am. I'm just scared.

fear's alright though. one of those emotions that reminds us of our humanity.

=)

<3bam

disturbia...

literally disturbed. anxious. nervous even.

but fighting to be optimistic because everything can and will be ok.

just have to get through this little time period...