but they tell you when you know...you just know...
they insist that when it's hits you...you know it...
and yet they tell you you're usually too blind to see it...and too stupid to appreciate it...
i'm thinking it's the former and gonna work to keep it from becoming the latter.
but that's just me. we'll see.
<3bam
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
summer 2008...who knew?!?
summer 2008 was a SHOCKER. really though I never would've guessed what kind of summer I was on the way when school ended back in June it's insane.
First off, lemme start by saying I never thought I would end up with a roomie as unique (in that she is amazingly caring, thoughtful, and inspiring) as Diana. =) What started as a simple "stay over since you got locked out and it's easier for me not to have to go pick you up again" ended up as "ROOMIE I MISS YOU!" From shopping to partying to COOKING (yeah I know right?! me cooking...wteff) we had some gooooood times this summer. And looking back at it 60% of my summer happiness came from time spent with D. Before this summer we were tight, bay girls from the start (her info night) and dancers to the core. Now I know I've got another homegirl whose got my back and I've got someone I can run to when I need to be held down. Lol as funny as it sounds it's also comforting that there's someone who SHOPS MORE THAN ME! I know that once things started picking up for me I ended up devoting less time to this friendship but I think this summer laid the foundation for something that will only continue to grow, and I'm grateful for that. It's funny how life rewards you when you put yourself out there for a friend.
Also this summer was the first time that I took summer classess ALL SUMMER. Note to self: sumemr is for taking a break, don't ever do that again...=(. My first class was alright but my goodness, it's hard to concentrate during summer. I know that taking my writing class during the summer was a smart idea and believe me it was a good class with a good timeline, but my second class (stats) was a joke. Gah...now I understand why people hate summer classes. last summer it wasn't too bad when I took two classes in one session and they were back to back but having a schedule like I did, on top of working almost every morning for (what I consider a lame amount of time) 2 hours, wore me out and made me feel stressed during summer, what's usually my only break.
Ohhh so summer set, I have to talk about summer set. This summer MCIA had it's first summer performances and I have to say it was interesting practicing during the summer on OLD pieces and NOT for welcome week. Haha good stuff though. Welcome week practices and showcase were amazing too. bonding, letting the epsilons in on the little bit of all love that's extra special in our hearts, watching to see the little signs of improvement we've all made...sigh good stuff.
And then my latest adventure...and adventure really is the right word for it. I liked him before but I never thought that he would like me back, and goodness knows he never seemed to respond to any of my approaches. Lol it's funny how I know now how UNBELIEVABLY OBLIVIOUS he is. And I mean oblivious to it's utmost extent...sigh. It's funny, when you finally realize you can have what you want and enjoy all of it you kind of don't know what to do with yourself. He makes me feel that way. Makes me feel like I won't need anything else, well besides what I already have (as in Friends, Family, Team, Bro's and now him). It's weird feeling this whole feeling complete thing. I'll admit that there's quite a bit to adjust to, certain things that really are new and different for me (that category does still exist thanks), but it really doesn't seem hard to adjust at all. I sit here and think about it and yeah I'm scared about when he leaves, but I'm ok with it. I see how challenging it could be and I see how hard it will be when either of us is in need but I believe in him. He's a hardworker my babe, and a strong believer. I couldn't ask for better. =)
Mmmmm also this summer BOTH of my nephews celebrated their first birthdays. I was only able to attend a party for the first one but I can't believe that the next generation of my family is already well on it's way in this world. Crazy to think that I'm not that far off from joining my cousins...the ones who are established, engaged, married, working, moving away, and all that sort of thing. I don't know how I feel about that...now that I think about it. I want to think that everything will be ok that everything will fall into place...but we'll see...
Have I mentioned that I've also found a best friend in my dear babe Kris Mark. =) I could write a whoooole lot about how awesome he's been but I'm sure that if i just tell you that he's the first person i hope to im when i get online, on my top five text list for when something brand new happens to me, and inspirational beyond any words when it comes to the terms passion and art you'll understand how important a friend he's become to me. =)
My new home, the grove is also something worth noting. A new home, a real home, somewhere I can feel comfortable, somewhere I can take care of, and a place that I can love alongside my other roommates. Jen did an awesome job when she picked our new home, and her sense of responsibility as well as her accountability assure me that this is a good growing place for both of us. I'm getting used to sharing a room again, but I like sharing with Erika. Sharing space with someone who has her act together is sooooooooo refreshing. =) I love my roomies, and I love the grove. Spending more time with kirby is also nice.
Sigh, this summer, I chased after romance, relocated, said hello to new family, re-educated myself on the terms of friendship, and so much more. From the trips to the fair, late night movie marathons, random shoppingt rips, foodruns in the middle of the night, and tons of hours devoted to birthday fun I've re-learned what it takes for me to have fun and smile. Everyone needs a little refresher course in their own life sometimes. This summer was a good step back for me and a FUN and AMAZING jump forward.
I wish I could sound more inspirational right now and more composed but I'm going through one of those messy phases right now. One of those delightful time periods where everything just got thrown up the air and now I have to watch as it all falls and slowly sort everything as it falls in front of me. I don't use falling to imply that things are getting worse I'm simply trying to say that since life how I last had it arranged wasn't working out I'm now trying a new arrangement that isn't planned it's just forming as I live from day to day. Waking up grateful, going to sleep content, it's a nice change.
<3bam
First off, lemme start by saying I never thought I would end up with a roomie as unique (in that she is amazingly caring, thoughtful, and inspiring) as Diana. =) What started as a simple "stay over since you got locked out and it's easier for me not to have to go pick you up again" ended up as "ROOMIE I MISS YOU!" From shopping to partying to COOKING (yeah I know right?! me cooking...wteff) we had some gooooood times this summer. And looking back at it 60% of my summer happiness came from time spent with D. Before this summer we were tight, bay girls from the start (her info night) and dancers to the core. Now I know I've got another homegirl whose got my back and I've got someone I can run to when I need to be held down. Lol as funny as it sounds it's also comforting that there's someone who SHOPS MORE THAN ME! I know that once things started picking up for me I ended up devoting less time to this friendship but I think this summer laid the foundation for something that will only continue to grow, and I'm grateful for that. It's funny how life rewards you when you put yourself out there for a friend.
Also this summer was the first time that I took summer classess ALL SUMMER. Note to self: sumemr is for taking a break, don't ever do that again...=(. My first class was alright but my goodness, it's hard to concentrate during summer. I know that taking my writing class during the summer was a smart idea and believe me it was a good class with a good timeline, but my second class (stats) was a joke. Gah...now I understand why people hate summer classes. last summer it wasn't too bad when I took two classes in one session and they were back to back but having a schedule like I did, on top of working almost every morning for (what I consider a lame amount of time) 2 hours, wore me out and made me feel stressed during summer, what's usually my only break.
Ohhh so summer set, I have to talk about summer set. This summer MCIA had it's first summer performances and I have to say it was interesting practicing during the summer on OLD pieces and NOT for welcome week. Haha good stuff though. Welcome week practices and showcase were amazing too. bonding, letting the epsilons in on the little bit of all love that's extra special in our hearts, watching to see the little signs of improvement we've all made...sigh good stuff.
And then my latest adventure...and adventure really is the right word for it. I liked him before but I never thought that he would like me back, and goodness knows he never seemed to respond to any of my approaches. Lol it's funny how I know now how UNBELIEVABLY OBLIVIOUS he is. And I mean oblivious to it's utmost extent...sigh. It's funny, when you finally realize you can have what you want and enjoy all of it you kind of don't know what to do with yourself. He makes me feel that way. Makes me feel like I won't need anything else, well besides what I already have (as in Friends, Family, Team, Bro's and now him). It's weird feeling this whole feeling complete thing. I'll admit that there's quite a bit to adjust to, certain things that really are new and different for me (that category does still exist thanks), but it really doesn't seem hard to adjust at all. I sit here and think about it and yeah I'm scared about when he leaves, but I'm ok with it. I see how challenging it could be and I see how hard it will be when either of us is in need but I believe in him. He's a hardworker my babe, and a strong believer. I couldn't ask for better. =)
Mmmmm also this summer BOTH of my nephews celebrated their first birthdays. I was only able to attend a party for the first one but I can't believe that the next generation of my family is already well on it's way in this world. Crazy to think that I'm not that far off from joining my cousins...the ones who are established, engaged, married, working, moving away, and all that sort of thing. I don't know how I feel about that...now that I think about it. I want to think that everything will be ok that everything will fall into place...but we'll see...
Have I mentioned that I've also found a best friend in my dear babe Kris Mark. =) I could write a whoooole lot about how awesome he's been but I'm sure that if i just tell you that he's the first person i hope to im when i get online, on my top five text list for when something brand new happens to me, and inspirational beyond any words when it comes to the terms passion and art you'll understand how important a friend he's become to me. =)
My new home, the grove is also something worth noting. A new home, a real home, somewhere I can feel comfortable, somewhere I can take care of, and a place that I can love alongside my other roommates. Jen did an awesome job when she picked our new home, and her sense of responsibility as well as her accountability assure me that this is a good growing place for both of us. I'm getting used to sharing a room again, but I like sharing with Erika. Sharing space with someone who has her act together is sooooooooo refreshing. =) I love my roomies, and I love the grove. Spending more time with kirby is also nice.
Sigh, this summer, I chased after romance, relocated, said hello to new family, re-educated myself on the terms of friendship, and so much more. From the trips to the fair, late night movie marathons, random shoppingt rips, foodruns in the middle of the night, and tons of hours devoted to birthday fun I've re-learned what it takes for me to have fun and smile. Everyone needs a little refresher course in their own life sometimes. This summer was a good step back for me and a FUN and AMAZING jump forward.
I wish I could sound more inspirational right now and more composed but I'm going through one of those messy phases right now. One of those delightful time periods where everything just got thrown up the air and now I have to watch as it all falls and slowly sort everything as it falls in front of me. I don't use falling to imply that things are getting worse I'm simply trying to say that since life how I last had it arranged wasn't working out I'm now trying a new arrangement that isn't planned it's just forming as I live from day to day. Waking up grateful, going to sleep content, it's a nice change.
<3bam
Thursday, September 18, 2008
let's just be...
i really love that song by miguel. pretty encompasses anything and everything that i'd rather be doing. hahahaha
i know thats horrible but forgive me my guilty pleasure aka leisure while i still have summer to bask in it.
<3 bam
p.s. love you babe. =)
i know thats horrible but forgive me my guilty pleasure aka leisure while i still have summer to bask in it.
<3 bam
p.s. love you babe. =)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
confused...forgive me while i figure this out...
are we meant to give of a proper image of ourselves or are we meant to force people to get to know us?
is it really so hard to maintain an open mind about the people we encounter or are we so blinded by our own needs that at first glance all we see is either good or bad with nothing left to improve upon?
that's too harsh, and that's not it...
i'm so frustrated having to force myself to once again just suck it up and overcome this SAME fucking situation. i don't get it. i really don't. it's never that way when we reverse the situation...yet for me...it's always the same. sometimes i hate how i appear simply because it doesnt always align with how i feel, think or behave. i hate being told that i'm intimidating but "wow you're actually really nice when i get to know you."
i know people mean well when they say that, and it's great to know that i've gotten through to someone...but imagine how you would feel if everytime it was like that...if everytime you got close to someone you found out that if you hadnt pushed for it...they wouldn't have given you a second glance...
yes i know there are exceptions, people who are so open and loving that i automatically feel comfortable and i am ever so grateful for you all (you should know who you are). it's people like you that remind me that it's worth it to stay true to my identity because people will recognize it. sigh.
i know that sounds so different from everything i was writing before but i'm really torn right now. torn between this feeling of sadness that yet again i've been misinterpreted and have to fight a first impression gone wrong and this feeling of strength that comes from the fact that i've been through this so many times that i know i can do it.
something else that bugs me about this...people who won't let me complain...you know theres nothing wrong with admitting that you have problems to deal with when you know deep down in your heart as well as withinyour mind that you're going to deal with them.and i dont mean you PLAN on doing something about these problems i mean you KNOW you're going to fix them. what the hell is wrong with admitting that you have something to overcome? and why do we have to downplay our struggles in order to seem satisfied?!? i don't want to be satisfied i want to be completely happy and fulfilled. so i'll be damned if i have to hold my tongue the next time im saying something is wrong and someone tells me to stop complaining. if i was one of those people who never took care of their problems then fine i'd be ok with having to shut up to make you feel more secure but you know i always deal with whatever is thrown my way and part of it comes from fully admitting and being ok with the fact that i have shit to deal with. i dont like taking FOREVER to figure out whats wrong, figure it out, admit it and FIX IT. nothing is wrong with that so can people please stop telling me to change how i've daelt with everything that i've ever overcome...please?
i'm really confused as to what i should be feeling right now...sad, determined, annoyed, unmoved?
i'll keep pushing though...like i always do, i was kinda hoping for a break but it's ok i guess. you grow more when you have to overcome more right? so it's a good thing?
yeah..i'll try to stick with that for now i guess...i'm really not myself right now...sorry...
-bam
is it really so hard to maintain an open mind about the people we encounter or are we so blinded by our own needs that at first glance all we see is either good or bad with nothing left to improve upon?
that's too harsh, and that's not it...
i'm so frustrated having to force myself to once again just suck it up and overcome this SAME fucking situation. i don't get it. i really don't. it's never that way when we reverse the situation...yet for me...it's always the same. sometimes i hate how i appear simply because it doesnt always align with how i feel, think or behave. i hate being told that i'm intimidating but "wow you're actually really nice when i get to know you."
i know people mean well when they say that, and it's great to know that i've gotten through to someone...but imagine how you would feel if everytime it was like that...if everytime you got close to someone you found out that if you hadnt pushed for it...they wouldn't have given you a second glance...
yes i know there are exceptions, people who are so open and loving that i automatically feel comfortable and i am ever so grateful for you all (you should know who you are). it's people like you that remind me that it's worth it to stay true to my identity because people will recognize it. sigh.
i know that sounds so different from everything i was writing before but i'm really torn right now. torn between this feeling of sadness that yet again i've been misinterpreted and have to fight a first impression gone wrong and this feeling of strength that comes from the fact that i've been through this so many times that i know i can do it.
something else that bugs me about this...people who won't let me complain...you know theres nothing wrong with admitting that you have problems to deal with when you know deep down in your heart as well as withinyour mind that you're going to deal with them.and i dont mean you PLAN on doing something about these problems i mean you KNOW you're going to fix them. what the hell is wrong with admitting that you have something to overcome? and why do we have to downplay our struggles in order to seem satisfied?!? i don't want to be satisfied i want to be completely happy and fulfilled. so i'll be damned if i have to hold my tongue the next time im saying something is wrong and someone tells me to stop complaining. if i was one of those people who never took care of their problems then fine i'd be ok with having to shut up to make you feel more secure but you know i always deal with whatever is thrown my way and part of it comes from fully admitting and being ok with the fact that i have shit to deal with. i dont like taking FOREVER to figure out whats wrong, figure it out, admit it and FIX IT. nothing is wrong with that so can people please stop telling me to change how i've daelt with everything that i've ever overcome...please?
i'm really confused as to what i should be feeling right now...sad, determined, annoyed, unmoved?
i'll keep pushing though...like i always do, i was kinda hoping for a break but it's ok i guess. you grow more when you have to overcome more right? so it's a good thing?
yeah..i'll try to stick with that for now i guess...i'm really not myself right now...sorry...
-bam
Thursday, September 11, 2008
what a week. =)
wow...just wow...this week was...a BLUR.
i left of friday night by simply saying that my parents arrived in socal safely and met and loved my charming babe. =) Saturday was so much fun which basically means it was the perfect follow up to friday night. I woke up pretty early, babe came over, and me and D and rhonda started packing/cleaning what was left in my apt. When my parentals finally got there I had enough packed for a quick trip to my new place while my mom finished up some cleaning. We were out of there by 1 I believe.
It was bitersweet leaving norte. The place where I finally had my own space and finally felt like I had the freedom to live on my own isn't mine anymore. But that's ok, learning to let go is always a vital lesson. I know I'll miss the times I spent in my apartment after I began to appreciate it's homelike qualities. But I am quite happy to let go of a space that holds so many memories in favor of starting anew. Goodbye 28526 I hope the next person treats you as well as we did.
Anyways, after moving the last of my belongings into my new place my parents, des, and I went to CURRY HOUSE for a bite to eat. It was really awesome seeing him open up to them and watching my mom thoroughly enjoy a new kind of food experience. My dad found des' super bubbly super hot soup really interesting. That was kinda cute. Afterwards we headed over to ikea to meet D and Rhonda to help them out and to shop for my BED. We took our time strolling through ikea, getting ideas and having a little bit of fun dreaming about what we hope for future rooms and what not. It took a little while to pick out a mattress but I already knew what bedframe I was getting (coincidentally its the full size version of jen's twin size bed) so that part was pretty speedy.
Now me being the usual silly person that I am, the whole fun family girl image had to start snapping back into alignment with reality and I had a totaly pig moment when I stuffed a large portion of my cinammon roll into my mouth. It was kinda funny to see des and my mom react in exactly the same way, with mouths hanging open and eyes full of disbelief that I fit that whole piece in my mouth and didn't bother to chew. Haha...oh boy.
Anyways after we dropped off D and Rhonda's stuff we headed back to my place to tackle the next challenge...assembling my bed!! I put on happy feet for my mom so she would have something to do while we were working, and we set out to assemble my full sized comfort zone. It went smoothly...until ikea decided to have us try to install something on the BOTTOM of the frame....i was quite frustrated...but it came out alright and I'm loving the bed I'm sleeping on now (well sitting on at the moment). Afterwards we went to TGIF for dinner and had AWESOME conversation. =)
SUUUNDAY...I was on my own with my parents fora little while, at target, mervyns and lowe's to pick up some last minute things for my new place. And sadly, they had to leave that day. We hung out at my place for a little bit before they decided to start heading home, and des rushed to get here before they left (which was really sweet and pretty much secured his invitation to my place for thanksgiving). I was sad after my parents left, I love seeing them relax and feel like their work is appreciated. Sigh.
mmmm....I suppose I'll save the blog about my birthday and the rest of this week for another time...I don't feel like I should write anymore, need to let this one sit a bit ya know? Haha...
Hmm an ending note...I suppose I'll end by admitting that this is in fact the happiest I have been in quite some time, and I'm so glad life surprised me with this sudden burst of contentment when it did. Props big guy, good call. =)
oh and...I'm meeting his family tomorrow...I can only hope it goes as well as his intro to my fam and pray that it doesn't turn into my last encounter with well..you know...=/ but I"M OPTIMISTIC! I can't help it...he makes me so happy...=)
<3bam
i left of friday night by simply saying that my parents arrived in socal safely and met and loved my charming babe. =) Saturday was so much fun which basically means it was the perfect follow up to friday night. I woke up pretty early, babe came over, and me and D and rhonda started packing/cleaning what was left in my apt. When my parentals finally got there I had enough packed for a quick trip to my new place while my mom finished up some cleaning. We were out of there by 1 I believe.
It was bitersweet leaving norte. The place where I finally had my own space and finally felt like I had the freedom to live on my own isn't mine anymore. But that's ok, learning to let go is always a vital lesson. I know I'll miss the times I spent in my apartment after I began to appreciate it's homelike qualities. But I am quite happy to let go of a space that holds so many memories in favor of starting anew. Goodbye 28526 I hope the next person treats you as well as we did.
Anyways, after moving the last of my belongings into my new place my parents, des, and I went to CURRY HOUSE for a bite to eat. It was really awesome seeing him open up to them and watching my mom thoroughly enjoy a new kind of food experience. My dad found des' super bubbly super hot soup really interesting. That was kinda cute. Afterwards we headed over to ikea to meet D and Rhonda to help them out and to shop for my BED. We took our time strolling through ikea, getting ideas and having a little bit of fun dreaming about what we hope for future rooms and what not. It took a little while to pick out a mattress but I already knew what bedframe I was getting (coincidentally its the full size version of jen's twin size bed) so that part was pretty speedy.
Now me being the usual silly person that I am, the whole fun family girl image had to start snapping back into alignment with reality and I had a totaly pig moment when I stuffed a large portion of my cinammon roll into my mouth. It was kinda funny to see des and my mom react in exactly the same way, with mouths hanging open and eyes full of disbelief that I fit that whole piece in my mouth and didn't bother to chew. Haha...oh boy.
Anyways after we dropped off D and Rhonda's stuff we headed back to my place to tackle the next challenge...assembling my bed!! I put on happy feet for my mom so she would have something to do while we were working, and we set out to assemble my full sized comfort zone. It went smoothly...until ikea decided to have us try to install something on the BOTTOM of the frame....i was quite frustrated...but it came out alright and I'm loving the bed I'm sleeping on now (well sitting on at the moment). Afterwards we went to TGIF for dinner and had AWESOME conversation. =)
SUUUNDAY...I was on my own with my parents fora little while, at target, mervyns and lowe's to pick up some last minute things for my new place. And sadly, they had to leave that day. We hung out at my place for a little bit before they decided to start heading home, and des rushed to get here before they left (which was really sweet and pretty much secured his invitation to my place for thanksgiving). I was sad after my parents left, I love seeing them relax and feel like their work is appreciated. Sigh.
mmmm....I suppose I'll save the blog about my birthday and the rest of this week for another time...I don't feel like I should write anymore, need to let this one sit a bit ya know? Haha...
Hmm an ending note...I suppose I'll end by admitting that this is in fact the happiest I have been in quite some time, and I'm so glad life surprised me with this sudden burst of contentment when it did. Props big guy, good call. =)
oh and...I'm meeting his family tomorrow...I can only hope it goes as well as his intro to my fam and pray that it doesn't turn into my last encounter with well..you know...=/ but I"M OPTIMISTIC! I can't help it...he makes me so happy...=)
<3bam
Saturday, September 6, 2008
happiness.
my parents are here. they approve. of the place and the boy.
and i'm happy. really truly happy.
=)
thank God.
mmmmm i'm going to sleep now, grateful for this world that i'm living in. tomorrow night, i start a new adventure with my first night at the grove. i cannot wait! =)
<3bam
and i'm happy. really truly happy.
=)
thank God.
mmmmm i'm going to sleep now, grateful for this world that i'm living in. tomorrow night, i start a new adventure with my first night at the grove. i cannot wait! =)
<3bam
Thursday, September 4, 2008
thank you.
If I tagged you on fb and asked you to come read my blog then I have a big thank you that I really just wanted to get to you. =)
Kris Mark- Babe, I really don't know how it happened but I'm honestly blessed to have you as a friend, a best-friend in my opinion. You honestly know whenever something is up with me, and I swear we share the same brain sometimes...sorry if it's dysfunctional and what not but hey it work smost of the time. =P I hope you know that in my perfect future you make it in the big time AND you maintain your sense of self and your sweet sense of humility. This past summer you've really helped me out and whether or not you know it I'm unbelievably grateful for it. Your music makes me smile like no other, and our jokes and conversations are often highlights of my day. I'm only going to say this once, but I owe you a song, as in me singing, at least once in my life, so save it for a good occasion and try not to embarass me mmk? And in case you didn't get that, I'll sing for you ONCE as long as you're nice about it.
Diana aka Baby Girl - I remember you saying that you never would've expected us to be as close as we are now, or even have lived together but I can honestly say that there is no one else that I would rather have spent my summer with. You helped me break out of my anti-social low and feel like I wanted to be around people again rather than hiding by my lonesome like im used to. I've founda confidant in you, and someone who shares the same idea of home as I do, and living far from home like we do, I find that very comforting. I'm going to be sad as well when I won't get to call you roomie anymore. I really think we make one heck of a team and I hope that continues to be true for as long as possible because you're a ride or die for sure.
Mihir aka Twin Cubed- You sir are REMARKABLE. Never before has anyone been on the same level as me AND been so damn open about it from the start of it all as you. Everytime something happens to me, I already know that you're going to be looking out for me and checking up on me, and I already know I can trust you with my life. We talk so often and yet in both of our hectic lives we struggle to find time to actually be in each others company but I hope you know that should you ever need me to be by your side at a moments notice, I really am just a phone call away. Everything that I have ever confided to you I can trust will stay with you, and you give me your honest opinion even if it differs from mine (which isn't often since we're so alike). I'm glad I got you as a twin, and I'm glad that we'll be "stuck" with each other. lol. Thank you twin for always being one of the first to check up on me, and for staying as close as possible at all times. That means the world to me, and I hope one day I'll get the chance to show you how big of a deal that really is to me.
Czareine aka HOMEGIRL - Babe this is so long overdue, infact pretty much a year over due but thank you thank you thank you for always being right there when I needed you to be, and for holding me down like no other. You inspire me to be bold and to be brave even when you're not around or haven't been around in a while. Last year and ever since we became close, you've done such an amazing job at being my homegirl that I can honestly say you're a ride or die and mean it with full effect. I remember you once saying that you looked up to me as a big sister at times, but it's funny because often I look up to you as an ate. =) I'm glad you aren't leaving my life yet to go join the big bad real world, and I'm grateful beyond words for the fact that you are so involved in my life.
Isa - I don't know if you know it, but I owe you for reminding me about something this summer. Somehow, through our sharing of odd pasttimes, and through the efforts that we've made to stay in contact despite the distance you've helped remind me of how important family needs to be in my life. I feel like having you to connect to since we're at the same stage in our lives has really made me feel like I have more of a part in maintaining my family relationships than before. I really hope that as a family we're doing all that we need to in order to show you we care and that you're stuck with us =P. Hahaha I guess what i'm trying to get at is I LOVE YOU COUS!!! =)
Jenevieve aka ROOMIE-COOLASSMUTHAFUCKA - I am so excited to be living with you for at least the next year, this is seriously a big step for me and I'm glad that I get to share this experience with you. We've been through so much, and now we get to go through even more, YAY! I really can't believe how lucky I am to have someone as stable, reliable, trustworthy and strong as you in my life as a close friend. I can only hope that living together brings us closer. Thank you so much for coming up with a plan and finding us a beautiful home. =) As always you did your best and it shows. I'm looking forward to relaxing in my room while listening to you play away on your keyboard. Balin babes for life, forrealzies. =)
Desmond - This is probably going to seem ridiculously short compared to all the other one's I've written but I just really wanted to say thank you. Thank you for proving me wrong when I believed that I couldn't open up and let someone into my life for a while. The butterflies, smiles, hugs, and comfort that we've just begun to share show are the highlight of my life at the moment. You're amazing baby, really. =)
MCIA - I know I didn't tag everyone to read this, but I'm hoping that some of you will have read this and know that no matter what happens this coming year, MCIA will always be my first real family in soCal. Because of this team, I have been able to grow and keep growing in so many new and unusual ways. Thank you for being my high point, my low point, my strength and my challenge. There is no other group of people that holds a special place in my heart like you do. =) All love, Always.
*Long exhale* Mmmm that's about it for now, but I still have many more things on my mind that I'll probably blog about later so stay tuned, the updates I mentioned in my last entry are still on the way. I just really felt like at a high point in my life, I needed to remember why I feel so happy and show that I am grateful for all the work that other people have put into my life (whether or not they realize it). This is hardly an exhaustive list of the people that I need to thank for my current state of well being but it's a beautiful start, at least I like to think so.
<3bam!
Kris Mark- Babe, I really don't know how it happened but I'm honestly blessed to have you as a friend, a best-friend in my opinion. You honestly know whenever something is up with me, and I swear we share the same brain sometimes...sorry if it's dysfunctional and what not but hey it work smost of the time. =P I hope you know that in my perfect future you make it in the big time AND you maintain your sense of self and your sweet sense of humility. This past summer you've really helped me out and whether or not you know it I'm unbelievably grateful for it. Your music makes me smile like no other, and our jokes and conversations are often highlights of my day. I'm only going to say this once, but I owe you a song, as in me singing, at least once in my life, so save it for a good occasion and try not to embarass me mmk? And in case you didn't get that, I'll sing for you ONCE as long as you're nice about it.
Diana aka Baby Girl - I remember you saying that you never would've expected us to be as close as we are now, or even have lived together but I can honestly say that there is no one else that I would rather have spent my summer with. You helped me break out of my anti-social low and feel like I wanted to be around people again rather than hiding by my lonesome like im used to. I've founda confidant in you, and someone who shares the same idea of home as I do, and living far from home like we do, I find that very comforting. I'm going to be sad as well when I won't get to call you roomie anymore. I really think we make one heck of a team and I hope that continues to be true for as long as possible because you're a ride or die for sure.
Mihir aka Twin Cubed- You sir are REMARKABLE. Never before has anyone been on the same level as me AND been so damn open about it from the start of it all as you. Everytime something happens to me, I already know that you're going to be looking out for me and checking up on me, and I already know I can trust you with my life. We talk so often and yet in both of our hectic lives we struggle to find time to actually be in each others company but I hope you know that should you ever need me to be by your side at a moments notice, I really am just a phone call away. Everything that I have ever confided to you I can trust will stay with you, and you give me your honest opinion even if it differs from mine (which isn't often since we're so alike). I'm glad I got you as a twin, and I'm glad that we'll be "stuck" with each other. lol. Thank you twin for always being one of the first to check up on me, and for staying as close as possible at all times. That means the world to me, and I hope one day I'll get the chance to show you how big of a deal that really is to me.
Czareine aka HOMEGIRL - Babe this is so long overdue, infact pretty much a year over due but thank you thank you thank you for always being right there when I needed you to be, and for holding me down like no other. You inspire me to be bold and to be brave even when you're not around or haven't been around in a while. Last year and ever since we became close, you've done such an amazing job at being my homegirl that I can honestly say you're a ride or die and mean it with full effect. I remember you once saying that you looked up to me as a big sister at times, but it's funny because often I look up to you as an ate. =) I'm glad you aren't leaving my life yet to go join the big bad real world, and I'm grateful beyond words for the fact that you are so involved in my life.
Isa - I don't know if you know it, but I owe you for reminding me about something this summer. Somehow, through our sharing of odd pasttimes, and through the efforts that we've made to stay in contact despite the distance you've helped remind me of how important family needs to be in my life. I feel like having you to connect to since we're at the same stage in our lives has really made me feel like I have more of a part in maintaining my family relationships than before. I really hope that as a family we're doing all that we need to in order to show you we care and that you're stuck with us =P. Hahaha I guess what i'm trying to get at is I LOVE YOU COUS!!! =)
Jenevieve aka ROOMIE-COOLASSMUTHAFUCKA - I am so excited to be living with you for at least the next year, this is seriously a big step for me and I'm glad that I get to share this experience with you. We've been through so much, and now we get to go through even more, YAY! I really can't believe how lucky I am to have someone as stable, reliable, trustworthy and strong as you in my life as a close friend. I can only hope that living together brings us closer. Thank you so much for coming up with a plan and finding us a beautiful home. =) As always you did your best and it shows. I'm looking forward to relaxing in my room while listening to you play away on your keyboard. Balin babes for life, forrealzies. =)
Desmond - This is probably going to seem ridiculously short compared to all the other one's I've written but I just really wanted to say thank you. Thank you for proving me wrong when I believed that I couldn't open up and let someone into my life for a while. The butterflies, smiles, hugs, and comfort that we've just begun to share show are the highlight of my life at the moment. You're amazing baby, really. =)
MCIA - I know I didn't tag everyone to read this, but I'm hoping that some of you will have read this and know that no matter what happens this coming year, MCIA will always be my first real family in soCal. Because of this team, I have been able to grow and keep growing in so many new and unusual ways. Thank you for being my high point, my low point, my strength and my challenge. There is no other group of people that holds a special place in my heart like you do. =) All love, Always.
*Long exhale* Mmmm that's about it for now, but I still have many more things on my mind that I'll probably blog about later so stay tuned, the updates I mentioned in my last entry are still on the way. I just really felt like at a high point in my life, I needed to remember why I feel so happy and show that I am grateful for all the work that other people have put into my life (whether or not they realize it). This is hardly an exhaustive list of the people that I need to thank for my current state of well being but it's a beautiful start, at least I like to think so.
<3bam!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
moving!!
im moving, relocating, transitioning....hahahaha and IM EXCITED!!! my new home is tentatively called "the Grove" and I have to say I am quite excited with the idea that this time next week that will be my home. =)
Let me try to describe my new home. When you open the door to "the Grove" to your immediate left are stairs leading up to the second level (but we'll deal with that area in a bit) and to your right and slightly ahead of you is a bathroom with an EXCELLENT mirror. Directly ahead of you after you enter is the kitchen (which has a beautifully massive fridge and adorable gast stove aaaand washer and dryer =) ) to the left of the kitchen across the bar, is the living room + dining room area which is HUGE and basically takes up 75% of the first level. With a small patio out back and sliding doors that double as mirrors (because dancers love reflective surfaces) this room is going to be fun to chill in.
Now on to the second level. After climbing the stairs, directly ahead of you is the master bedroom which I will be occupying along with erika! We have a small balcony attached to our room that is just over the patio and overlooks a cut elittle waterfall ensemble. Our room has two closets arranged around a short hallway that leads to the upstairs bathroom. The bathroom (which has the most adorable little storage spaces) is sandwiched neatly between the two bedrooms upstairs. Down the hall from the master bedroom is the second bedroom which is occupied by the lovely jenevieve. She has a wall to wall closet with mirror doors and a cute little set up going on in there. AND THATS THE GROVE!!!! =)
I would say that right now I am around 40% moved. I'm trying to move things over in phases so that come this weekend my transition into my new home will be smooth and I won't have to spend a whole day unpacking and arranging while my parents are down here to help me and bring furniture for me. =) It's also because it's the weekend right before my birthday and I wasn't home for my birthday last year so I'm really glad that my parents will be down here. =)
I'm also really glad that will get to meet my charming australian boy. =) That should be FUN! =D
Man this is such an interesting end of summer...like seriously...it's like all the excitement meant for summer was saved for the ending third of my summer. Hahaha oh life, you're a FUNNY betch...
Anyways, I'm going to attempt to rest now (haha thats possible right). More updates on the moving situation, the boy, the family, the dancing, and the BIRTHDAY to come in following posts. =)
here's to being happy. Thank you God.
<3bam!
Let me try to describe my new home. When you open the door to "the Grove" to your immediate left are stairs leading up to the second level (but we'll deal with that area in a bit) and to your right and slightly ahead of you is a bathroom with an EXCELLENT mirror. Directly ahead of you after you enter is the kitchen (which has a beautifully massive fridge and adorable gast stove aaaand washer and dryer =) ) to the left of the kitchen across the bar, is the living room + dining room area which is HUGE and basically takes up 75% of the first level. With a small patio out back and sliding doors that double as mirrors (because dancers love reflective surfaces) this room is going to be fun to chill in.
Now on to the second level. After climbing the stairs, directly ahead of you is the master bedroom which I will be occupying along with erika! We have a small balcony attached to our room that is just over the patio and overlooks a cut elittle waterfall ensemble. Our room has two closets arranged around a short hallway that leads to the upstairs bathroom. The bathroom (which has the most adorable little storage spaces) is sandwiched neatly between the two bedrooms upstairs. Down the hall from the master bedroom is the second bedroom which is occupied by the lovely jenevieve. She has a wall to wall closet with mirror doors and a cute little set up going on in there. AND THATS THE GROVE!!!! =)
I would say that right now I am around 40% moved. I'm trying to move things over in phases so that come this weekend my transition into my new home will be smooth and I won't have to spend a whole day unpacking and arranging while my parents are down here to help me and bring furniture for me. =) It's also because it's the weekend right before my birthday and I wasn't home for my birthday last year so I'm really glad that my parents will be down here. =)
I'm also really glad that will get to meet my charming australian boy. =) That should be FUN! =D
Man this is such an interesting end of summer...like seriously...it's like all the excitement meant for summer was saved for the ending third of my summer. Hahaha oh life, you're a FUNNY betch...
Anyways, I'm going to attempt to rest now (haha thats possible right). More updates on the moving situation, the boy, the family, the dancing, and the BIRTHDAY to come in following posts. =)
here's to being happy. Thank you God.
<3bam!
note to self...[updated]
choreo possibilities:
say my name - destiny's child
livin a lie - the dream feat rihanna
tell me what you want - mase
get on my hype - messy marv
u and ur hand remix - pink
(list not complete)
=)
<3bam
say my name - destiny's child
livin a lie - the dream feat rihanna
tell me what you want - mase
get on my hype - messy marv
u and ur hand remix - pink
(list not complete)
=)
<3bam