falling apart or keeping it together?

who needs a half empty half filled cup to confuse them, i can't figure out if i'm having a good week or not....


i'm dealing with a car accident that shouldn't be stressing me out anymore, worrying about stuff back home, still not feeling confident about my gpa, lack of confidence in certain areas of my life, a phone that's about two inches from death, a disgusting picture that i just saw, random bouts of loneliness, and definitely not eating or sleeping right....


but i'm also celebrating the completion of a 17 page paper that i feel good about, awesome weather, the strength of my immediate family, awesome friendships that have just recently blossomed, a more comfortable living scene in my apt, a change in the start time of my work shifts, and an increase in good habits on my part overall...


i really can't figure out if i'm more positive or more negative right now and its kinda messing with me.


overall the quality of life that i'm experiencing and living day to day has gone up, but i still feel weighed down and incomplete. it's weird, but then again i'm living a life that's pretty much new to me.


then again aren't we all? isn't that all we ever do when we wake up? another day closer to life means a whole new experience to endure. hmmm thats a blog for a darker day when i'm feeling more eloquent. that essay drained me.


for now i suppose i'll leave you with this:

a proposed solution to the problem of social security in the future has been proposed. it states that upon reaching retirement age the baby boomers should committ mass suicide.

i agree.


<3samBAM


p.s. think about the message before you call me a freak for saying that.